My Chia Pet fail -- Sorry, Estelle Getty of the Golden Girls

Imagine the thrill of receiving the gift of a real Chia Pet from Jeanne, and then imagine my sadness when I failed to nurture its hair to its full potential

July 2, 2019
Estelle Getty Chia Pet

John Fisher

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To tell you the truth, I don't have much of a green thumb. My houseplants wilt, the pots on my patio are filled with brown twigs, and my back yard is a jungle.

So when my morning show partner Jeanne surprised me on my birthday with a Chia Pet -- in the image of Golden Girls star Estelle Getty, no less -- I thought, "now here's something I can actually grow." 

Estelle Getty on TV
Kevin Winter / Staff / Getty Images North America

I guess, technically, I did grow something, but sadly for Estelle's beloved character Sophia, things didn't turn out so great. The "hair" on top of her head is sparse, while further down, her neck is . . . well, just look:

Estelle Getty Chia Pet
John Fisher

Right? It looks like the poor woman grew a mullet and then was attacked by a feral cat. 

As it turns out, there are very specific directions inside the Chia Pet box (which I only read after the fact) that instruct you to make the chia seed-water mixture into a thick paste that's the consistency of jam. Looking back on it, mine was pretty runny -- more like one of those kombucha flavors with the seeds in the bottle, if you've ever sampled one of those (and why would you, anyway?)

The good news is that Chia Pets come with enough seeds in the packet for at least two do-overs. So at this point, I think I'm going to give Estelle a nice shaved head and start fresh with a jammier, pastier chia seed-water combo, and I'll try again.

I was sad to discover that Estelle Getty died 11 years ago this month, but in a way, I'm grateful she never lived to see the indignity of my sloppy creation. 

Estelle, wherever you are, I apologize.

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